artist, author, consultant
T rediscovering life after trauma and loss.
◐We may be controlling and domineering and expect perfection of ourselves and others.
◐We may think we should be ashamed and guilty when we make the small mistakes that everyone is allowed to make.
◐We may think things are hopeless, terrible, or even horrendous when one thing goes wrong, as if we are looking at the world through tunnel vision.
◐ We may see things as all good or all bad, extremes that limit the possibility for change and hope.
◐We may fear losing control so we take charge of every situation or never give up an argument.
◐We may think we are responsible for everyone’s happiness so we try to please everyone, at any cost.
Can you imagine what it is like inside of some of us?
Can you imagine what our world looks like to us?
Some of our childhood thoughts and feelings have been part of us for ever and ever so we might not realize they are coloring our world. We imagine we are thinking rational thoughts based on what we are seeing and experiencing now. Unaware that we are seeing the world through our trauma, we go on acting and thinking in odd ways that make it hard for us to have a peaceful and full life.
There is another one of those fancy terms for this kind of view of the world. It is called COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS or thinking errors. That means we may think and then act in ways that are distorted by previous experiences and beliefs.
◐We may walk through life like actors on a stage, hiding ourselves from others because we think no one will like the real us.
◐We mindread other people's thoughts and actions, often misinterpreting what they say and do.
◐We may feel and act afraid for no logical reason, letting our emotions dictate our thinking.
◐We may direct our anger and rage at people and situations today, rage that is really about what happened to us in the past.